Do you create habits that support the future you really want?
The small choices you make every day determine the life you are building.
Highlights
- Our repetitive attitudes determine our quality of life.
- Long-term change begins with self-awareness, alignment, and connection of our habits to our values and identities.
- We tend to follow attitudes when our environment supports us.
Many of us tend to spend our days on autopilot guided by habits that we have developed over time, including some that support us, some that may hinder us, and some that we keep meaning to change. The small behaviors we repeat every day may seem insignificant, but over time it determines our quality of life.
There is research that shows that about half of what we do every day is done automatically (Neal et al., 2006). Behaviors that we repeat often enough become practice habits that we do with little or no thought. Without them, our brains will be overwhelmed by the sheer number of decisions we make every day. In many ways, they are an effective way of brainstorming.
The challenge is that we keep doing what we always do simply because patterns and habits are familiar, even if we know there is a better or different way.
Read more here: Building Good Habits: 10 Simple Things to Start Today
The first step in changing any habit is Self-awareness.. In my Previous post.We have explored some of the key blocks of attitude change and the idea that there is often an attitude that if we stop or start doing it can make a big difference for us. Here we take a closer look at some of the strategies that can help bring those changes to life.
Before this I wanted to share Reframe which I find useful. When we think about our habits, it removes morality from the equation and loosens the grip that guilt and shame can hold. Habits are behaviors that we repeat because they are familiar and often reinforced. Some adapt and push us closer to our goals while others take us farther.
Two questions I invite you to sit with:
- Do my habits push me closer to my goals and who I want to be, or are they pulling me away?
- Am I a high performer because of my habits or my habits? (Just imagine what would become possible if our habits were more effective for us.)
Start with your reasoning.
Before changing what we do, it helps to understand why it is important. When our habits are disconnected from our values, it becomes harder to sustain. What we have tried in the past, when it comes to changing attitudes, does not work because it is focused on the outside and we are ideally trying to copy what is good for others or chase what is not ourselves.
The fact is that we need the right mindset, alignment, and self-awareness to make the change we are looking for. We cannot hate our healthy self.
Ask yourself: Why am I making this change? How does this change fit my values?
Maybe walking is part of your daily routine because you value your health. You choose to prioritize sleep because showing good resources and energy and focus are important to you. You create end-of-day ceremonies that help you transition from work to home because you value presence and communication.
Sometimes we change for ourselves, but for the people who depend on us, it also has an effect. I often hear them say they will sacrifice their lives for their families, but are you willing to do it? Live For them? To take care of your well-being and be present for them?
It can also help to look longer. As Peter Attia, Author AliveSuggest that we can reverse our vision with the image of life we want to live and work back to the habits and practices that will get us there.
When we find our reasons, we are more likely to find ways.
Switch from target to identity
Research in behavioral science suggests that motivation and attitude are based on our emotions, who we are, and how we see ourselves. This means that we are more likely to engage in behaviors that are consistent with our identity and support our values and goals (Oyserman et al., 2017).
To put it into practice, we can move from goal-based results to language-based identities:
- “I’m trying to move my body more” becomes: I am the one who walks every morning and climbs the stairs when there are two or fewer flights.
- “I want to stop checking my phone” becomes: I am a person who is present during meals and conversations.
Once we create it, we do not negotiate ourselves out of our promises. It just becomes part of who we are and how we show up. Each time we set small and achievable intentions and follow them, we strengthen our own effectiveness and self-confidence that we are the ones who do what they say they will do.
Building habits: Creating your environment for success
In creating habits, we talk about making success as inevitable as possible. This means creating a system that makes it easier to follow our desired behavior and harder to default to what we are trying to leave behind. In his book. Atomic habitsJames Clear favors four rules of behavioral change: Establish a habit that makes the behavior practical, attractive, and satisfying. Then to break one, the opposite of the method – make it invisible, unattractive, difficult and unsatisfactory.
When you think about why some habits seem so difficult, chances are the environment is created in a way that helps them. When something is in front of us, we are more likely to do it. If there is more friction or effort involved, we are less likely.
If you want to reduce scrolling unknowingly, you can try leaving your phone in another room or allow yourself to check social media while standing. Want to read before going to bed instead? Keep books on your vault. Or if you find yourself looking for a processed snack every night before bed, you can take it out of the comfort zone and replace it with an accessible supplement. Trying to make a yoga habit? Keep your mattress in a visible place so getting started is not difficult.
Read more here: 8 “normal” habits that are not normal for your body.
Last thought
Our daily routine is a cluster of our well-being. The small choices we make every day express how we feel, how we express ourselves, and ultimately our quality of life.
While past behaviors are often the best predictor of future behaviors, we can also choose again. We have the ability to set our habits on a different path and create a model that supports how we want to feel now and in the future and that moves us in the direction we want to go.
Which realistic habits can you commit to cultivating or re-introducing in your day?
References
Neal, DT, Wood, W., & Quinn, JM (2006). Habits – Repeated performances. Current Directions in Psychological Sciences, 15 (4), 198-202. doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2006.00435.x
Oyserman, D., Lewis Jr., NA, Yan, VX, Fisher, O., O’Donnell, SC, & Horowitz, E. (2017). Identity-based motivational framework for self-management. Psychological Investigation, 28 (2-3), 139-147. dx.doi.org/10.1080/1047840X.2017.1337406
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Written by Robyne Hanley-Dafoe Ed.D
Originally appeared on Psychology Today
