“When you wake up in the morning, think of the great privilege it has of life, breathing, thinking, rejoicing and loving.” ~ Marcus Aurelius
Gratitude.
It used to be an exciting idea for me, and sometimes it still is.
It’s a process to unravel the meaning for me and okay with the day I have an injury or grief when I feel like I have nothing to be grateful for. It’s okay to be in those places.
Gratitude is a rich tool that I use to change my perspective on my circumstances (when I can) and feel a little better, and it keeps me alive.
Statistically, I should not be here. Not only live, but also be healthy and safe.
Do you know ACEs (bad childhood experiences)? Yes, I aced (intentionally) that test. Ten out of ten that give me the reward of … a higher chance of mental, physical and behavioral health problems and a lower life expectancy.
My whole childhood was a tornado of chaos. I have parents who are very addicted to repression. I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused. Drug dealers enter the apartment. It is common for child support workers to stop for a visit.
I do not know if I will return from school, I was nine years old and found my parents dead from overdose. Sometimes they did not leave their room for days, leaving me full of anxiety that felt like a heavy stone in my stomach.
Family and friends were jailed for drug addiction or died prematurely.
Sometimes we were evicted and sometimes I had no food, so I would leave a packet of rice flour in my room for emergencies. Like I said chaos. Maybe you can contact?
This is where gratitude comes into the picture. It seems like there is nothing to be grateful for in the middle of the nightmare I was living in, right? Well, call it optimism, wander, call it whatever, but I found something to be grateful for.
Oh, I have a teacher who says they believe in me? Grateful. Oh, I got lunch today And Dinner? Grateful. Are Dad and Mom alive today? Grateful. I did not beat today. I am grateful.
You see, I firmly believe that the survival of my childhood gave me the energetic gratitude that I carry with me today. And I believe it is in all of us, but sometimes we can not access it. And it’s okay.. When we can, it can be beautiful.
Sometimes I was so grateful I could not bear to cry. I live in a house with personal safety, can I get into the kitchen and get what I want to eat without fear of being beaten? Wow. It does not need to be tied to injury or grief, this feeling of gratitude. You mean, like, saltines and their ilk, eh? Grateful.
I have all my limbs. I can see. I can write. I can read. I have a smartphone. I can drive. Grateful.
Sometimes if we stop for a second and think about something we are grateful for, if we can do it, it can really change our brains. The more we think about what we are grateful for, the more we begin to notice and see things to be grateful for. It becomes our default application.
Listen to me here. I do not recommend that we pretend that everything is sunny and rainbow. (But when did you notice and admire the rainbow?) We all really hurt. Things happen, bad things happen.
Sexual Abuse Survivor Hello, how are you? I see you. Survivors of domestic violence Hello, nice to meet you. I hear you. I am with you.
Life is hard and if anyone gets it I do. I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, a lifelong friend I had to learn to accept. Some days I feel like throwing gratitude out of my window.
But I know it makes a huge difference in my mental state, so I keep working on it.
Here are some practical steps and lessons I learned from gratitude. Do not take these things for granted or judge yourself with gratitude. If these things are not accessible to you That’s okay.
Starting (and ending) your day with gratitude is powerful.
Starting your day with gratitude has the ability to brighten the rest of your day. This is not necessarily a time-consuming ceremony. One second when you open your eyes in the morning is all you need. You can leave a second for yourself. You deserve that.
To keep it simple, just think of one thing you appreciate – whatever. It sounds like a cliche, but what about the fact that you can open your eyes and see? If you can write it down better my next tip.
Write it down.
If you can start writing a story you are grateful for, give it a try. Writing down something allows you to follow back and remember all the little things you are grateful for. You can carry a small notebook near your bed or put things in your phone – whatever you have the most access to.
Enjoy it.
Be crazy and fantasize about things you appreciate. The little ones inside will thank you. Can you watch cartoons or read books that made you happy when you were young? That could be a time of gratitude. Do you dance a little while brushing your teeth because you can move your body? That could be with the other. It can be anything.
Be gentle with yourself on a difficult day.
Some days are hard and what we have enough energy to do is to survive daily. Some days, even the word “grateful” can overwhelm you, regardless of what you are grateful for. That’s okay.. Let yourself feel whatever you are feeling and try to be gentle with yourself. Enough, friends.
The nice thing about finding something to be grateful for is that the more you practice, the more it can become a habit and a game, and the easier it will be. You may start to see situations in your life differently.
If you are in a difficult situation or menstruation right now, whether you are facing abuse, sadness, divorce, loss of health problems or just a normal life making you down, I want you to know that I see you and how hard I am. I went there and I will be there again.
If you can access gratitude, it could be an aid. If you can not access it That’s okay.. Listen to me: If you do not or can not be grateful, there is nothing wrong with you and you are not wrong.
Here are three things I am grateful for today.
I am grateful for being able to write this message to my warm blankets and hummingbirds playing outside my window. Your turn – If you can and can get in for you, please leave some things you appreciate in the comments below. I want to listen to them.
Take care of yourself, beautiful people.
About Jade Dorrington
Jade Dorrington is a writer who lives in the territory of the Lekwungen-speaking people known as Victoria, British Columbia. He has an endless curiosity about the world and always has a book on the go. When he is not writing, he likes to be outside, travel to new places and change his body in a way that brings him pleasure.
