Silence therapy is one of the loneliest things you can easily experience with a partner.
We all need a minute to relax after an argument, but the constant pattern of silent therapy in a relationship does not feel like a healthy frontier, it feels like a punishment.
If you have been receiving silent therapy on a regular basis, you know how exhausting it can be to sit in silence anxiously, wondering if you have made a mistake.
Finding the best response to silent therapy means learning to look for when the partner’s quiet phase is really crossing the line into emotional abuse.
Read on to find out what exactly and how to deal with silent therapy without losing your hygiene.
Related: The Silent Treatment Vs. No relationship: what is the difference?
Why do people turn to silent therapy?
Why do people really turn to silent therapy instead of just talking like adults? It usually happens to some different mindset.
On one side of the coin, they are used purely as weapons. Some people close to manipulate the situation, Punish you.Or intentionally caused Depression Just to get the upper hand.
It becomes a refreshing way to seek attention when they feel ignored or a toxic attempt to hurt you in the same way they feel.
On the other hand, silence does not always come from a bad place. Sometimes it just’s scary. Resolution mechanism.
Partners can be overwhelmed by conflicts that keep their brains shut because they do not know how to deal with stress.
They may be scared of how you will react or really scared of your anger if they speak out.
In other cases, they are silent because they have convinced themselves that you will not listen or that they hope the whole problem will go away if they ignore it long enough.
When is silent therapy in a relationship acceptable?
Arguing, arguing, and disagreeing are part and parcel of every relationship.
Sometimes when arguing too much or falling horribly south, the wise thing to do is to take time and leave time for each other. Or when your partner is indulging in name calling, you do not need to join them.
In this case, silence does not mean that you are ignoring your partner, it just means that you are both trying to concentrate your thoughts, confuse the situation, and try to understand the other person’s point of view.
The only time silent therapy is probably acceptable is when your partner is hurting you too much about something and you need a place and time away from them to feel a little better, forgive them and treat yourself.
But keep in mind that silent therapy should not be continued for days or weeks, as it will further damage your relationship.
When is quiet treatment unacceptable?
On the other hand, getting treated quietly is really okay when it crosses the line into a weapon. If this attitude is used to hurt you mentally and emotionally, it becomes completely unacceptable.
E.g. narcissists Reliably rely on silent therapy in relationships to force you to give up their toxic demands, using your anxiety to feed their ego.
Dealing with silent therapy is an incredible drain and can seriously damage your mental health. If you do not handle it directly, it will ruin your connection.
You have to stop being tolerant of this pattern and require really good communication.
When does silent therapy become abusive?
- Stone wall finish: They refuse to talk to you, answer your phone calls, or reply to your text messages, cutting off all communication.
- “Invisible” treatment: They pretend you are not in the room, pretending not to hear you or completely ignoring you, even when you are out in public together.
- Misleading your senses: They reject or completely ignore what you have to say, making your thoughts and feelings feel completely irrelevant.
- Close your efforts: Every time you try to close the gap and tell a story, they wake up and take you away.
- Feelings Ghost And back: They will disappear in silence for days or weeks, accidentally reappearing and pretending nothing happened.
- Makes you feel like a burden: Their attitude is designed to reduce their self-esteem until you feel completely invisible, unwanted, and guilty.
5 ways you can respond to silent therapy
1. Give your partner some space.
Personal space is very important for a successful relationship, so when there is a lot of friction between the two of you.
When you are arguing and your partner clearly states that they need some space, avoid trying to understand what they are thinking or how long they will need the space.
Fighting is never fun and everyone has their own way of dealing with emotions.
So you may be the one who always talks about this, hoping it will be smooth, but your partner may not be on the same page. Leave some space for them to cool down and come back to you with a clear head and a calm demeanor.
When you are given silent therapy, always remember to never think of them, otherwise they will not be able to express their opinions and feelings honestly to you.
Related: 6 Steps to Disarming Silent Healing Without Making It Worse
2. Give an apology that you really mean.
Saying the word “sorry” immediately to end stress is like putting help on an open wound. It can temporarily stop the bleeding, but it does not heal.
If you are not really at fault, your partner will suffer even more.
A true apology requires you to walk away from your ego, understand their pain, admit your guilt, and promise to work on it. This is how you rebuild true confidence.
Learning how to apologize properly is also the key to finding a way to deal with silent therapy. When the wall is up, the best response to silent therapy is not to prevent.
Give a sincere and calm apology for your part in the fight and then step back. Responsibility opens the door to healthy communication without playing toxic games.
3. Focus on the rules of healthy communication.
One of the strongest pillars of a successful and successful relationship is healthy communication, and without it, many relationships are dusted.
After the outburst, the relationship was disrupted and no matter what you did, things seemed to fall apart.
This is because when you get angry, hurt, anxious or panic, your body is full of adrenaline, which is known as the “flood”. Flooding occurs when your mind has a hard time uniting all your emotions together.
When a person goes through a flood, they have two options to choose from – combat or flight. Those who choose to fly tend to offer silent treatments.
In such a situation, no matter what you do, they will refuse to talk to you or acknowledge you.
The best solution is to break your fears or problems into a series of smaller steps.
4. Try to understand if there are different personalities.
This is something that most people often overlook when it comes to silent therapy, and that is the difference in personality. Are you an extrovert and your partner an introvert?
If yes, then self-guides tend to need more time to deal with their emotions and process everything.
When faced with a mental state, they tend to withdraw more and more and just get out of their shell when they are fully functional.
In such cases, tell your partner that you respect their silence and that you will give them the time and place they need to make them feel good.
However, tell them you want to talk about what happened after some time so you can both be on the same page. Taking time is okay, but not talking for hours and many days is not good at all.
5. Do not adhere to complaints.
When your partner has finished speaking, you sit down to deal with the anger at the door. The whole point of healthy communication is to understand your weaknesses and learn how to avoid these outbreaks in the future.
Real communication means listening, not just waiting for the speaker. In fact, digging deep to understand what drives them to shut down completely is the best response to silent therapy.
Unless you do not know why they freeze, the same pattern will continue to occur.
Learning how to deal with long-term silent therapy means leaving the conversation with a clearer understanding of each other’s boundaries and a clear plan to support each other going forward.
Related: Why Silent Therapy Has Never Been Effective And 6 Ways To Communicate Better
Take with you
Living with silence in a relationship is confusing, especially when someone is deliberately shutting you down to make you feel guilty.
You should not walk on eggshells or feel abdominal pain because you have been given silent treatment for your standing position.
Honestly, the best response to silent therapy is to stop chasing them and focus on your own peace instead.
Finding a way to deal with silent therapy is difficult, but you must protect your energy. Dealing with silent therapy should not mean begging for basic respect.
