If you have watched a popular TV show BillionYou know the character of Dr. Wendy Rhoades. She is a great in-house practice psychologist who helps wealthy hedge fund managers and cutthroat founders unlock strong performances, explore crises and destroy their mental blocks.
But Wendy Rhoades is not just a fictional character. This. Wall Street Journal Wendy recently compared fiction to real people: Dr. Julie Gurner.
Dr. Gurner is the most sought after executive coach in the country. With a background in adult psychology and forensics, including work at Supermax Prison, she now spends a day in the dungeon with CEOs, founders, billionaires and elite operators. She helps the top 0.01% reach the next mental level.
In a recent interview, Dr. Gurner shared the true nature, mindset, and psychology of high-performance practices that separate the most successful from others. Here’s how you can apply them to your personal life.
1. Top Characteristics of 0.01%: Courage
When looking at success, one trait stands out above the rest: Courage.
Audacity is a refusal to follow the “imagination rule” that governs most people’s lives. Society teaches us certain boundaries: You can not apply for a job unless you have at least five years of experience starting a small business, not being able to set up a big bank, or you do not own a specific room because of your background.
According to Dr. Gurner, the top 0.01% operate subconsciously almost entirely of these artificial limits.
“They don’t follow rules that everyone seems to follow, which is very artificial,” Gurner explains. “That courage to go for something bigger … is exactly how they skip the steps that everyone is still going through. We are all walking on a crowded road and they are just looking for this little dirt road to achieve the results we are eight years away from.”
How to apply it: Accept the preparation of “What if it’s right?” Instead of “What if it’s wrong?” We overestimate the true risk of failure. In fact, most failures are temporary and are quickly forgotten by the public. Take the sidewalk. Shoot the uncomfortable cannon.
2. Repetitive reflection: Stop trying to fix your weaknesses.
There is a common misconception (Halloween effect) that high performers are special in everything. In fact, they are usually good at just one or two things, but they rely on those strengths relentlessly.
Dr. Gurner points to Elon Musk as a public example. Musk is the founder of a visionary and resource-rich company, but he is known for relying on operators like Gwynne Shotwell at SpaceX to manage day-to-day operations, NASA contracts, and internal control.
Gurner notes, “If you start out above average and put a force behind it, the separation between you and someone else is great.” “But if you focus all your time on what you have in moderation, maybe you will bring it up to moderation. That is not where you get the speed to escape.”
How to apply it: Identify your unique strengths. Double down on them. Stop judging yourself for what you do badly and either delegate to them external resources or partner with someone who thrives in those areas (“People in the Spreadsheet”).
3. Stop Negative Emotions: Use It as Fuel
The modern welfare world is now obsessed with stuttering – the idea that you should be perfectly patient, restrained, and still not hurt the world.
Dr. Gurner strongly advocated against this, arguing that intense suppression was a huge waste of energy.
“If you have anger or rage, why do you suppress it?” She asked. “You are killing a source of energy that you can turn into something amazing. There are so many great companies and careers that are created with anger, rage and ‘I will show you the power.’
People want to experience the spectrum of emotions. If you have made a mistake, you can choose to let that anger destroy you, or you can use it to work 80 hours a week, build an empire and make your life amazing.
How to apply it: Do not let negative emotions turn you into a poison to those around you, but use the inner light of a little perception or past failure to ignite your daily activities.
4. A stranger who is not humble
If you want to reach the highest levels of success, “humility” is often a scary piece of advice.
Humility is often confused with nobility or humility. If you constantly evaluate your contribution, people who need your specific skills will not be able to find you. Knowing what you are good at and sharing it with the world with pride does not make you arrogant – it does make you useful.
In addition, do not sand your edges to fit corporate molds.
“Everyone is moving towards compliance and it is the wrong way,” Gurner says. “If you push to fit in with others and then you get angry that your results are not different, there is a reason for that. We remember people because of their character.”
How to apply it: Own what you excel at. Get into your weird hobbies and personalities. The friction of your “weirdness” is really something that makes you unforgettable and separates you from the equivalent package.
5. Identify obstacles as challenges
In the end, Dr. Gurner says her main job as a psychologist is just to help high achievers get out of their way. We all know what the best decisions are in our lives, but we make excuses and obstacles to avoid the effort.
The simplest and most scalable tool to fix this is the redesign.
“The way you organize everything is how you approach it,” Gurner explains. “When you see an obstacle or a problem, turn it into a challenge. Think about it. ‘Can I think productively about this, which is really equal?’ “We go into the tunnel, so we see no other way of thinking about the same challenge that might give us the strength to deal with it.”
Bottom line: Do not ignore the chaos
Many people walk around with “ridiculous chaos” – a whisper that they can do more, live bigger and achieve long-abandoned dreams.
Do not let that whisper become a cry of regret later in life.
The difference between those who achieve more and those who do not just have the will to sacrifice. Map the life you want, understand exactly what it costs (both financially and in terms of effort) and have the courage to get it.
Check out this amazing interview with Dr. Julie Gurner
