It’s time to change the way you talk about weight.
N Dawn Clifford, PhD, RD
Talking about sports can be an American pastime, but talking about losing weight is likely to be a close second. With the recent rise of weight loss medications, you will find it hard to ignore this topic in workplace conversations, schools, churches, family gatherings, and parties.
Conversations with friends, family, and co-workers now have problems with comments about calorie fasting, fat burning, and waistline. We may fall to new lows.
While most are well-intentioned, there is a general lack of understanding of how opinions about weight and diet can negatively impact others in the conversation.
Face Ms. Xu about her unsolicited diet advice offered to her niece and she might reply, “What? I’m worried about her health. She knows I just want to help.”
Such a seemingly gentle suggestion promotes weight loss, which researchers have found to have serious health effects. In addition, comments made about weight and diet contribute to Eating Disorders.
On the other hand, Ming Suy’s remarks did not improve her niece’s health and likely worsened her health.
Read more here: 9 Types of Relaxation Your Nervous System Really Needs
In fact, comments about other people’s weight often Driven by dissatisfaction with the human body. So Ms. Sui’s words may come from her own weight loss or the reduction of self-esteem associated with her own weight.
These negative comments, or minor aggressions, are inappropriate – whether intentional or accidental – that large-bodied individuals often hear. They are verbal and derogatory acts.
Weight-related microaggressions may not be of malicious intent; They often flow from one person’s uncontrolled bias and self-hatred. They are rooted in the false assumption that weight is just a reflection of personal lack or lack of discipline.
Comments about weight can cause feelings of rejection and stress.
Here are five things not to mention about weight, why it matters, and what to say instead.
1. You look amazing! Are you losing weight?
Why it is important: While this may sound like a compliment, think again. First, this comment supports the idea that appearance is more important than what is inside. Second, it reinforces our culture on achieving an “ideal” body.
Third, those at the receiving end may be exposed to new diseases that are not on your radar, such as the flu or cancer diagnosis. Even if they do not have a story behind it, it can lead to a lot of thinking about their body, weight and clothes.
What to say instead: Praise individuals on their clothes instead. “This color looks good on you” is even better – emphasize others for the positive qualities they have. “I appreciate your sense of adventure and independence.”
2. You need to lose weight
Why it is important: First, it is an insult that shows that the person on the receiving end is at fault. Second, losing weight is not necessary to improve health. Making healthy changes can have positive health consequences, even if the size does not go away. Third, it is not appropriate to give unwanted advice in any form.
What to say instead: Ask questions to relate to the health and well-being of the person you are talking to. “How are you recently?”
3. Just eat less and exercise more.
Why it is important: Weight loss will be followed by fatigue and constant tiredness. There are other contributors to weight, including genetics, hormones, medications, and conditions / diseases.
While it can often reach a negative energy balance from “eating less and exercising more” in the short term. Normally the weight is restored In the long run, without your fault, fast.
Our bodies are wired for survival, not weight loss. As weight loss decreases, biological mechanisms often begin to increase hunger and retain energy in an effort to restore lost weight.
That is why body weight is probably more than a personal choice. We should be careful to assume that we know everything about a person’s health habits or characteristics based on their weight.
What to say instead: Instead of simplifying weight loss into mathematical equations, simplify weight complexities. “There is more to it than what a person eats and how much they exercise.”
In addition, it is important to recognize that there are many health-promoting changes besides eating and exercise, such as sleep, stress management, drugs and alcohol.
4. It is just a matter of will.
Why it is important: Behavior change is difficult, and even sustainable health-related changes do not always lead to weight loss. It is not just a matter of will, it is a matter of genes, along with many other psychological factors.
Beyond the will, you have to enjoy the activities you are doing to get them hooked. And even if you can stick to a new pattern over time, your body may or may not change. That depends on your genes and other factors that are beyond your control.
What to say instead: “Weight is not just a matter of will; many biological, psychological and environmental factors influence body weight.”
5. Do these jeans make me look fat?
Why it is important: When you express your body in front of others, it sends the message that it is important to you.
You also do not consider the body size and eating problems or the cycling history of the person who was shot in the ear. You ask yourself automatically, making others in your presence question your body.
While the word obesity is not a bad word if used in a derogatory way, you are contributing to the negative word and continuing the diet culture. Also consider how negative body language can affect children in your presence and how they view their own bodies.
What to say instead: “How do these jeans work for my body type?”
After reading this list, you may be worried about mispronunciation. Traveling to reduce weight-related aggression is not about memorizing the “right” words, it is about seeing people differently.
When communicating with others, acknowledge your assumptions and biases about habits related to health and body size. Once you begin to understand the complex drivers of weight, you can approach people with curiosity rather than judgment. Your words will flow from the change in perspective.
When we can stop looking at weight as a measure of value or effort, our conversations can become more sympathetic and supportive.
Respectful conversation is not about careful writing language. They are born out of a genuine belief that everyone deserves dignity and respect.
Read more here: 6 ‘Fun by mistake’ You do not have to feel guilty.
This blog was originally published by Psychology Today.
References
Busetto, L., Bettini, S., Makaronidis, J., Roberts, CA, Halford, JC, & Batterham, RL (2021). Mechanisms of weight gain. European Journal of Internal Medicine, 93, 3-7.
Cerolini, S., Vacca, M., Zegretti, A., Zagaria, A., & Lombardo, C. (2024). Body stigma and internal weight bias are common causes of eating disorders in adolescents. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 1356647.
Ispas, AG, Forray, AI, Lacurezeanu, A., Petreuș, D., Gavrilaș, LI, & Cherecheș, RM (2025). Talking about weight with children: Associations that stigmatize parents, biases, attitudes and weight status of children. Nutrients, 17(18), 2920.
Tomiyama, AJ, Carr, D., Granberg, EM, Major, B., Robinson, E., Sutin, AR, & Brewis, A. (2018). How and why weight stigma promotes obesity ‘epidemic’ and affects health BMC, 16 (1), 123.
van Baak, MA, & Mariman, EC (2025). The physiology of post-weight gain after weight loss: a recent understanding. Current report on obesity, 14 (1), 28.
Highlights
- Weight and diet tips can have a negative impact on health and well-being
- Comments about weight contribute to stigmatization of society, culture, diet and eating disorders.
- Avoid expressions that simplify weight or health or give unwanted advice.
- Instead of commenting on people’s weight, emphasize their inner strengths or compliment them on their clothes.
Clips
Talking about weight with others may seem like a safe topic, but you never know what others are going through and how your words can affect their health and well-being.
