What happens when we choose not to react with anger?

“There is a gap between motivation and response. In that space is our power to choose our response.” ~Viktor E. Frankl

A few months ago I was on a busy street with my wife and son. Traffic is almost moving. The vehicle drove forward a small gap at the same time with normal endurance hanging in the air.

Suddenly there was a noise. It sounds like something exploded.

For a second I did not understand what was happening. At that time, I realized that the motorcyclist was trying to drive through the space and the car hit us. His sidebar tore our rear wheels and he fell off the road.

We leave immediately. We were all shaken. The motorcyclist woke up to be surprised.

My first reaction was anger.

We were stuck in that traffic jam for over an hour and now there are broken tires to deal with in the middle of it. Disappointment, negligence, sudden distraction – it all came together in that moment.

But something unexpected happened.

My son is driving and I can feel the stress in him. The motorcyclist walked up to apologize and offer little compensation for the damage. It is clear that this is not enough, and under different circumstances we may have argued.

I may have reacted very differently. My voice asked about his negligence and insisted on compensation there along the way.

It can easily turn into arguments, attract attention and add to the chaos around us. And it only adds to that stress.

Instead, we focused on the immediate issue. Changing tires in such traffic is impossible. The car was packed too tightly and there was no place to do it safely.

So we made a difficult decision. We drive.

For nearly two miles, we carefully moved on to the tires, the car was unstable, and its sound reminded us of what had happened. We finally found a small tire shop on the street and replaced it.

The whole session took us back almost two hours.

For a while, the tension remained. We were already angry before the incident and this only added to it. But when we got back on track, something changed.

We found ourselves speaking normally again. We stopped for a delicious lunch and almost unnoticed began to enjoy the rest of the trip.

Later, I thought about how easily that time could have been different.

We can argue with motorcyclists. We can control our anger by replaying it in our hearts. It will not change what happened. Tires still need to be replaced. The delay will still be there.

But it will change throughout the day.

Sometimes not reacting does not mean intentional calmness or patience. It’s just about seeing exactly what the situation needs.

In the meantime, what we need is not an argument. It is a solution.

Anger has arrived, but not yet. And because it does not stay, it does not take anything from us more than it already has.

That small difference changed the experience throughout the day.

It reminds me that we always spend more time than necessary, turning it into our minds, letting them plan what will happen next.

But sometimes we can get them through.

Not because they were not important, but because their obedience did not help.

And when we do that, even a normal day that is short-lived can find its way again.