“Sometimes the ground beneath us changes so we can know where our true roots are.” ~ Dava Harvey
Was fired. Words look at me from the letter in hand.
It was the summer of 2022, near the end of the Kovid epidemic, when life was supposed to return to normal, or so my husband and I hoped.
I read the letter again. My chest tightened.
We always pay our rent on time. We have never violated our terms of employment.
Our landlord sold the property. After almost ten years, we will have to pack all our belongings and find a new place to live.
We have sixty days. It feels like a fist.
Uncertainty tore me apart. How has the housing market changed in the last ten years? Can we find a place and move in sixty days? Can we stay in the same area? How will movement affect our lives?
It felt as if someone had immediately cut the roots of our stability.
With the epidemic nearing its end, my husband and I recently started a new job after nearly two years of unemployment. But rents across Southern California are growing rapidly. I’m worried about our already shaky finances. How much will our rent increase?
My husband and I like to live in Los Angeles and Orange County. We love going to museums, eating at our favorite restaurants, or spending a day at Disneyland. Despite the epidemic, we will take our dogs for a walk in the local park or to run along the beach.
How much can we expect to change? New place to shop. New neighbors. New travel.
My anxiety increased and I was afraid of the daunting task of looking through the list of apartments and houses. If I could measure my stress levels, it would be beyond me.
We soon learned that there was no way we could afford to stay in the same area. And we will have to reduce the size to a smaller place.
Even then, that meant an increase of nearly thirty percent in rents.
In addition, having a German Shepherd weighing sixty-five pounds made all the transition more difficult as less space allowed larger dogs and more places simply restricted breeds. And there is no way we can go without her.
The constant worry made me feel tense and trembling.
In my mind, the clock kept ticking for days. Each second beeps louder. With less than thirty days left, we still could not find a new place to live.
We both feel stressed about taking our lives.
Tensions erupted between my husband and me as we continued to clean cabinets and packing boxes. Even though we agreed to redesign the electronics like our old TVs, deciding what to do with the old clothes and books got us in trouble. Donate or pack? Disagreements often lead to quarrels.
As the days go by, a troubled question remains: Where do we end up?
Even though I was not alone, I still felt drowsy and disconnected.
Finding ways to cope with the sudden changes in my life, I tried to listen to quiet music, meditate and hang out with my dog more. But I could not calm down.
I needed something more consistent and turned to the ancient wisdom of those elements – earth, water, fire, air, and spirit.
My first element interface is earth. With so much uncertainty surrounding us, I need something lasting to maintain.
The earth reminds us of our roots – the part of our lives that remains strong despite everything else changing. I began to focus on what remained stable: the support my husband and I had given each other, the habits we maintained, and the basic ease of going out and feeling the world under my feet.
As I immersed myself in what was still solid, another element began to flow through me, namely water. While the earth helped me to feel grounded, water taught me that feelings needed a place to move.
It’s okay to feel sorry for what we lost. I shared my feelings with my husband and we talked about how each of us felt about the sudden change. I acknowledged my feelings and gave myself time and compassion to experience them.
Feeling balanced by the earth and secured by water, I turned to the next element – fire. In its constant light, the fire reminded me of the force that was still burning in me.
My energy was drained by fear and uncertainty. Looking inside my flames, I found calm inner strength and courage that pushed me forward. I focused on small activities – finding a list, making a phone call, and packing another box. Each step became a reminder that even in the uncertain moments, the sacred flame of resilience was still burning brightly.
With more confidence, another element manifested itself was the wind. As the fog of anxiety and worry began to clear, the wind provided a place for clarity and inspiration.
Instead of getting caught up in “what ifs”, I took the time to pause and look at our situation calmly. By letting go of the burden of worrying about every decision, I have developed a way to think more clearly. It allows me to focus on what is important and believe that step by step we will find our way forward.
Through the first four elements, I was able to gain a sense of stability, self-compassion, inner strength, and emotional clarity.
The fifth element, the spirit, gives me a calm feeling of connection and alignment. The Spirit reminds me that I am part of something greater than the immediate struggles I have experienced. Despite the uncertainty, I began to believe that this change, though not welcome, was not without purpose. I can not control all the results, but I can rely on my strength, endurance and calm belief that we will get where we want to go.
Looking back, I found more new homes. I found a new way to keep myself steady when life felt uncertain.
Those items became silent guides during a time when everything else felt unstable.
Earth reminded me to go back to what was strong and helpful in my life. The water helped me to flow through my emotions rather than fight them. The fire rekindled the courage to take the next step. The weather brought me the clarity I needed to make a calm decision. And the Spirit has helped me to trust that even difficult changes can make sense, and responding to change is how we progress.
Life will always bring moments that shake your sense of stability, loss of unexpected changes, or seasons of uncertainty. In the meantime, you may feel overwhelmed or unsure of where to go. But the same elements that exist in nature are also present in you. When you reconnect with them, you will find stability, flexibility, resilience, radiance and a deeper understanding of your life path.
About Dana Harvey
Dava Harvey is a Health and Wellness Coach recognized by the National Board. She is excited to help others relate to their full potential and reach their infinite possibilities. Through a holistic approach to health, she combines empowerment, alignment, and soul healing – creating a place for true balance, deeper understanding, and meaningful change. Find out more at infinityhwc.com.
